i'm just a little girl lost in the moment

patience has its own limits. and my patience has gone overboard. i took back my words when i said that it pays to be nice. ( well, to a certain extent )

i think i had fulfilled my role as an elder sister. not to say that im a GOOD sister but as an elder sister that cares. i admit i do care about them. but do they? it hurts me when my own did this to me. they hurt me. deep. sumtimes they are in their own world without realising that i exist. i used to care about this issue way back when i was in secondary skool. but now i cant be bothered. i can accept things as they are. i guess im matured enough. its okay if they dun wanna tell me sum stuffs and they kept it as a secret. coz sooner or later i would find out. dun ask me how, but that is juz me. nobody can fool me for so long. nobody. im not trying to brag but come on la, im not stupid.

i always told myself not to care about them and back them whenever they had problems. but i cant bring myself to do that. its my nature to help eventhough the most i can do is listen. im not the kind of person who would do bad stuff to ppl coz i believe in karma. i wouldnt want that to happen to me. but i dunnoe why ppl keep hurting me over and over again. i will always try my best to fork out some money for them eventhough i noe that i needed that money badly. its so sad when my own cant even lend me a teeny weeny bit of money. so saddening. they always ask me to back them if they had done sumthing wrong and i always did that. coz they noe my parents will believe me. do you think they will do vice versa? pigs will fly. would u call that taking advantage? yes.

if that is what you call a sister, then i dunnoe what you call an outsider.

and todae. my mom. i dunnoe wats up with her. i had enough of sucking up to her. and to my father. i gotta learn to be independent. its about time i pay for my own things and not ask them too often. im pampered well enough. i gotta save money if i wanna buy my own stuffs. im tired of all this. im fed-up with all this rubbish. its juz a pain the ass. i cant be bothered about all this anymore. if you wanna treat me like s.h.i.t, ure welcome laa.. coz other ppl will do that to you too. im childish no more. juz one word explains everything.

KARMA.