i'm just a little girl lost in the moment

i feel that my grandma and my mom is bias towards us siblings. i dun know what sin or wrong we have done but they seem to hate us. fed-up sia. you see ar, it is OK for my cousins to go out every saturday and come home late, but it is WRONG for US to go out AT ALL.

WHAT. THE. FUCK.

i have nothing against my cousins, but seeing how my grandma and my own mother treat us, it pains me. thats why whenever one of us wanna go out, 2 of us must stay home. pathetic like hell sia. its so unfair you know. hearing my grandma, always taking my cousins side is so hurtful. eventhough we stay in da same hse, we neva get a good word of anithing. the cousins rarely come to our house and they are pampered like loyalty. haiz.. mayb they saw all our flaws already thats why :(

juz now my sister wanna find work. she got questioned. eh, wtf lah. seriously. i hate it wen we got questioned. question reasonable nvm, its so STUPID lah! u want to know the qn? here it is:

"WHY YOU GO OUT?"

what a stupid qn you tell me. seriously, you dun expect my sis to stay at home and die of boredom rite? i wouldnt want that to happen to her. den i try to defend her by saying that how come my cousin can work (same age as my sis) she cant? my mom gave all sorts of LAME excuses. mampos sia. haiz. dats why i pray that my sis will score well for her O's and show them dat she can do it. pls sis...

and, can you believe whats gonna happen if da 3 of us were to colour our hair? HAVOC sia! family members, relatives and kaypo2 makciks will constantly question us. but my cousins? hah. they colour their hair ready lah eh. BLONDE lagik ade. my grandma neva say anitin. i feel like cursing sia. but i control. argh.

its just not fair. no matter how hard we tried to be good, we are seen as the most laziest grandchildren ever in her eyes :(