"_____ da ader license kerete."
"_____ da keje pon."
the last thing i wanna hear is "_____ da nak tunang."
"____" is my distant cousin. shes a year older than me. and seems like shes successful huh. oh wells, who am i compared to her? btw the comments were from my grandmother. alah, as you know makcik-makcik will tend to gossip2 everytime they call each other. update each other on their children's/grandchildren success/failures. god knows what else they talk about. kecik seyy hati when i hear all this. its not that i want my life to turn out this way seyy =(
but what i dont like is that sometimes she tend to do comparison too much. like come on lah, first of all i graduated from poly before her. if im not wrong, she graduated later coz she hafto repeat some modules i think. hello? i dont hear anybody complaining. imagine if i were in her shoes. confirm the whole relatives, near or far, will look down on me. fyi, i have nothing against this cousin of mine. we only met during hari raya. so her presence doesnt affect me much laa.
about the car license, its not that i dont want to enrol. but im just scared. scared of the road and hearing about the accidents, anything can happen. and also im not confident enough. my father had been asking me to enrol since last year but my heart just isnt into it. why force when you dont want? kalo bkn pasal takut, skg da bawak kerete hijau la seyy. jgn maen2.
thirdly, if i hear that shes gonna get engaged or married, im just gonna say sarcastically "kalo gitu besok pon aisyah nk kawin nyai!" its not that im being rude but sometimes it gets to your nerve you know. telinge panas tau dgr nie sume. stress! i may not know what im searching for in life yet but insyallah if one day i do know, i will make my family proud. just wait and see. i had enough being compared. only time will tell.
maybe i should do some soul-searching. go to a cave and betape there. whos knows the answers are written somewhere near the rocks. i wont know. hahaha. but for now i wanna go with the flow. to tell the truth im not that independent yet. i cant make up my mind of what i want and what i dont want. i still need peoples opinions. although i know at the end of the day the decision is all down to me. sighs. this is so depressing right? now i know what NOVEMBER has in store for me. thanks a lot ehh.
missing you is not part of my routine anymore.
