The Dos and Don'ts of Text-Message Flirting
By Debra Goldstein and Olivia Baniuszewicz
By Debra Goldstein and Olivia Baniuszewicz
Texting is the new calling, which means there's a whole new battleground for romance — and a new set of rules to play by.
1. Get Literal
DO say the words text me when you give out your number to a new guy. Giving a new guy your number and telling him to call can be iffy. Start with a text.
(even if i gave out my no. to a guy, he will have to do the iniatitive.)
2. Go the Distance
DON'T just text "Hi." Even if the only reason you're texting him is because you're thinking about him, this kind of short and shy flirtexting typically leads nowhere.
DON'T just text "Hi." Even if the only reason you're texting him is because you're thinking about him, this kind of short and shy flirtexting typically leads nowhere.
(hate this kind of msg! waste of time!! usually i would have to think twice or thrice whether i wanna reply or not.)
3. Keep it Real
DON'T purposely send him a "mis-text." Women tend to use this move as a way to make men jealous. But he'll see right through your needy outreach and move his texts on to the next.
DON'T purposely send him a "mis-text." Women tend to use this move as a way to make men jealous. But he'll see right through your needy outreach and move his texts on to the next.
(i used to do that! coz i wanna see hows their reaction. evil i know. hahaha!)
4. Timing Counts
DO text him back within 24 hours. Anything beyond that reads "I'm just not that into you — or your texts."
DO text him back within 24 hours. Anything beyond that reads "I'm just not that into you — or your texts."
(true true. if i dont reply back means malas nk layan.)
5. Seize the Day
DO ask him out over text. If you like him, gauge his interest by sending a light-date invite without hesitation. Try: "Don't know about you, but I predict I'll be parched after work Thursday. Drinks?"
DO ask him out over text. If you like him, gauge his interest by sending a light-date invite without hesitation. Try: "Don't know about you, but I predict I'll be parched after work Thursday. Drinks?"
6. Know the Score
DON'T kid yourself. If he only texts you past 10 P.M., he's just looking to hook up with you. The late-night flirtexter does not want to date you. Respond at your own risk.
DON'T kid yourself. If he only texts you past 10 P.M., he's just looking to hook up with you. The late-night flirtexter does not want to date you. Respond at your own risk.
(really meh... what if hes busy at work? must have valid explanation lah)
7. Keep a Clear Head
On that note: DON'T TUI (Text Under the Influence). Any text sent while under the influence of alcohol, Ambien or a good Leo DiCaprio film is a bad idea! Conditions that lower our inhibitions make it more likely that we'll text things we otherwise wouldn't.
On that note: DON'T TUI (Text Under the Influence). Any text sent while under the influence of alcohol, Ambien or a good Leo DiCaprio film is a bad idea! Conditions that lower our inhibitions make it more likely that we'll text things we otherwise wouldn't.
8. Time to Talk?
DO use the phone on certain occasions. For instance, if he calls you and you like him, you absolutely must return the call. Texting back in response to his call reads uninterested.
DO use the phone on certain occasions. For instance, if he calls you and you like him, you absolutely must return the call. Texting back in response to his call reads uninterested.
(skali dier ter-misscall. ape cakappp! haha. usually i will just msg back to confirm whether did he call or not)
9. Avoiding Acronyms
DON'T go overboard with abbreviations and acronyms. Things like "MTFBWU" (May the force be with you) and overzealous "LOL" usage should be reserved for texts with your tween cousin or BFF, not to a PBF (potential boyfriend).
10. Keep It Clean
DON'T send a sexy message before you are in an exclusive relationship. Doing this puts your secret fantasies at a high risk of being forwarded to all of his male coworkers.
DON'T send a sexy message before you are in an exclusive relationship. Doing this puts your secret fantasies at a high risk of being forwarded to all of his male coworkers.
11. Let's Be Friends
DO learn how to send him into the friend zone. Throwing a "Buddy," "Pal," "Kiddo" or "Sport" somewhere in your texts usually accomplishes this. If he's smart, he'll take the hint. Girls interested in dating him don't typically call him "Kiddo."
DO learn how to send him into the friend zone. Throwing a "Buddy," "Pal," "Kiddo" or "Sport" somewhere in your texts usually accomplishes this. If he's smart, he'll take the hint. Girls interested in dating him don't typically call him "Kiddo."
(true true. this type of situation i know how to handle. cheyyy..)
12.The Ex Files
DON'T text your ex. This is rule is especially important to remember when you're feeling lonely and vulnerable.
DON'T text your ex. This is rule is especially important to remember when you're feeling lonely and vulnerable.
(ok boss!)
13. Mind Your Manners
DO send a thank-you text, post-date. Even if there were no sparks, it's just proper flirtext etiquette. But if you had the best date ever (we're talking full-on fireworks), call him the next day to say thanks. If he felt the same way, he will definitely appreciate the reassurance!
DO send a thank-you text, post-date. Even if there were no sparks, it's just proper flirtext etiquette. But if you had the best date ever (we're talking full-on fireworks), call him the next day to say thanks. If he felt the same way, he will definitely appreciate the reassurance!
